Preparing for 2013

Another Christmas has come and gone.  There are three days left in 2012. For most of the friends that I graduated with from high school, this will be the “Big 50” birthday year. A few weeks back, about a dozen of us met for dinner to reunite with those out of town that we hadn’t seen in years. We had fun and joked about who would turn 50 first. We realized that some sitting with us had already turned that special age and were thankful they were there to prove that you can indeed survive “the big one”!

Last night I was reminded how blessed I should be to be seeing 2013. One of our friends from school didn’t make it to his 50th. He passed away six years ago, and his family posted a cake on Facebook in honor of his birthday. It was a stark reminder that we are not guaranteed tomorrow to see those we love.  Whether we take them for granted, are too busy for them, or they are just too difficult to deal with at times, we need to remind them what they mean to us.

We will all deal with challenges and blessings in this next year. It’s just a fact of life. God will be there each step with us if we trust in Him.

Happy Birthday Mark.

We miss you.

Adventures At The Bank

I needed to retrieve something yesterday from my safe deposit box at a bank that I hadn’t been to in a while. (This will be an important fact in a moment.) It was a rainy day and mom was driving, and she asked if I needed any help. I said no because as long as I’m a little familiar with my surroundings, I can ‘fake’ being legally blind very well.

I entered the bank, and stepped in line. I always watch closely when I’m next so I can tell which teller’s counter becomes available. I can’t see the teller, just the customer walking away and the empty spot and no one is usually the wiser about my sight. Well, my mind wondered for a moment, and…..yep, SOMEONE..... SOMEWHERE said, “Next”. Ever had that moment when you feel like a deer in headlights? That was my look I guess. I’m now squinting….which if you have ever seen me do this; it looks like I’m MAD! She says again, “Next”, I then start walking….I don’t know WHERE mind you, but I figure I should at least head toward the teller’s counter. First little cubby- no lady, I’m then a little flustered. (Ok, a lot flustered!) I step over to the next cubby and that is the winner, but instead of looking pleased to see me…umm…she looked a little bewildered and frightened of me. You know the moment when you think that they have probably pushed the silent alarm under the counter for the police? No? You need to come with me sometime then.

I deposit a check and tell her that I need to get into my safe deposit box. As I’m telling her this, I look to my left and the guard that you hardly ever see is standing next to me. She then announces that I need to get to my box, and another person walks up now to “help” me. LOL! I knew what they must be thinking, but kept to the task at hand. I just wanted a piece of paper, NOT to rob the bank! I walked into the vault while feeling several sets of eyes glued to me. When I returned to the main floor, a friend that works at the bank saw me and came to give me a hug. I wanted to say, “SEE, I have friends, and am NOT A THIEF!” I'm sure all of you are getting a little laugh just sitting there and trying to imagine this blind as a bat blonde even attempting such a thing.

No, I wasn’t angry with them. I’m sure in this day and time that you can never be too careful. I just need to learn to SMILE when I squint.

Many people who read this have children with eye conditions or you yourself have one. I’m not writing this to depress you or make you want to stay home instead of going out in public. Sometimes things just happen, and it's much better if you learn to laugh at yourself and go on with life.

Changes

November is what? Almost GONE? ALREADY? I’ve just begun to write 2012 correctly. One great gift this month was the prompting of my friend, Laurel, to count my blessing in a unique way each day on Facebook. I tried to be faithful in doing this until I left on vacation and returned to get ready for Thanksgiving company. Thank you for the idea!


I’m learning that holidays will never be the same after losing family members. Last year I was pretty self-absorbed in my pity without Daddy or Papa being there with us. This year my goal was to look outside of myself and took the plunge to have dinner at OUR home instead of moms.
At 14 people and counting….A few days before Thanksgiving, I was on a short vacation to the beach courtesy of my daughter (isn’t it fun when they have a career and money to take YOU on vacation) when my son called and said,”Our UWF international group needs a few more homes for Thanksgiving dinner….” (There was silence on both ends as I’m counting up people in my head and thinking YIKES) He continues, “Umm...do we have anymore room for a couple more? I said yes, and so thankful that I did!

If you’ve never hosted foreign exchange students in your home, you have missed out! This was our second time, and what fun we had learning about each other's culture. We learned that the word ‘cranberry’ was hard to translate in mandarin. Football took on a different perspective for the guys in our family as they tried to explain to our new friends how it was played. Something all of the guys had in common was the discussion of ‘cars’! Mashed potatoes were a big hit as they had never tasted them before. All I could think about was, “These guys are so use to eating healthy and the only healthy food on the buffet was turkey and some fresh vegetables.” Everything else was oh so yummy, but I’m guessing not on a heart healthy diet.  We so enjoyed having our guests from China!

All this to say that God is so good and He knows what we need before we even have a clue.

The Old Shoe Box

You know that old shoe box you have in the top of your closet- the one with all those old notes and letters from middle, high school, and college days? Yeah, THOSE notes! I’ve looked up there for years and said to myself:

“Self, you need to go through those and see what’s in there. Do you really want your kids reading all of those when you die? There may be a few you and your friends may want  thrown away!”

Self said, “There are tons of notes in there and I don’t really want to have to sit and read all of those.”

Well, 'self' lost and a few days ago I began the task.

It was fun at first to read all those silly notes we would pass between class and maybe even IN class. (Never me though because I was perfect) lol!

You know the notes…She likes him THIS week and the following week or DAY, she likes the one sitting next to him. After reading a few, I realized most of us were real ‘drama queens’ and can’t say much to our kids or grandkids about being one. Others talked about who would show up for skating on Friday night. That was the “in” thing in Pensacola in the ‘70s. Yes, every Friday night this crazy 'blind' girl took her life in her hands and joined hundreds of others on Mr. Vic’s speedway, and waited for that magical “couples skate” time.

Of course there were the very important notes asking, “What are you wearing?” or SOME even talked about how cute certain teachers were!

One or two had tear stains still imprinted on the paper from dear friends whose families were in turmoil and they just needed a friend to talk to about it. Others had made mistakes they would carry with them for the rest of their lives, but were making fresh starts and asking the Lord to forgive the past. Just like today, there was also the pressure of drugs and alcohol.

Hey, that was just the “middle school” notes! We hadn’t even reached the much deeper issues that hit in the high school years. I wish I could say that I’m kidding.  I have lost touch with many of those friends, but I have also kept in touch with quite a few of them, and know they still have my back as I do theirs.

By the time I finished high school notes and continued on the college letters, I was feeling ill about all of the broken promises I had made to God, family, and friends. (I have some of ‘my’ letters I wrote to others)

It truly did depress me beyond words. God’s forgiveness had been given, but the memories were still there, and I’m sure it’s that way for many of you also. I had to remind myself once more that God’s grace is bigger than any sin we can ever imagine and when the past is thrown in your face, just remember to run to Him because He defeated your past and future sins at the cross.

One Stood Out

This past week I have caught myself “people watching” several times. Don’t look all “I wouldn’t do that!” You know you do. It usually doesn’t ends well of course. They walk on and I’m left wondering, “What in the world!”, or something to that effect. Some are just lost and wandering this world with no direction, and some are from great backgrounds, but choose to go their own way.



Last week in the mall I watched Girl 1 and Girl 2 enter and sit on one of the benches in the mall. They looked to be in their late teens and they were waiting for someone to arrive. A few minutes later two handsome young men walk up and Girl 1 introduces them to Girl 2. Being the intelligent person that I am, LOL, I realized that the one couple has set up this blind date for the second couple. Girl 2 tells her new male friend about herself and her church she attends. He tells about school and football stats and all that. They then begin to plan their afternoon, when out of nowhere, Girl 2’s new male friend let’s loose with the F word. Two more words and then the F word again. Instead of laughing nervously like most seem to do in those situations, the girl did something much different. She became my ‘HERO’ for the day. She looked at him and said, “I don’t talk like that and I don’t allow anyone to talk like that to me. “


Now, I have to sit there and pretend I have seen or heard nothing when I really want to jump and scream, “YOU GO GIRL!” She gave me so much hope for our future just by being that ONE that day.


I’ve also heard it said that they just can’t help saying those words because they hear them all of the time. My husband works with a warehouse full of men, and every other word out of most of their mouths is filth. My daddy was in the Navy and said that language was a big problem back then, but I NEVER heard him say any kind of curse word. My theory is if you can go in the military and be taught discipline, then coming out of the service and having the same discipline to avoid using those words should be no problem.


Young men and women need to have character and stop talking like thugs. You are our future!

Things I Have Learned from Planning and Attending a Fowler Family Reunion

First Generation Cousins (Charles Fowler Sr.'s children  and his siblings' children ('older' first cousins)

Second Generation Cousins (Charles Fowler Sr.'s grandchildren and his siblings' grandchildren

( younger first cousins)

Third Generation (Charles Fowler Sr.'s great-grandchildren and his siblings' great-grandchildren

( even younger first cousins)

Fourth Generation (Chalres Fowler Sr.'s great-great- and great-great-great- grandchildren) and his siblings' great-great grandchildren.

We are one BIG family and there were still around 50 from the West Coast that were missing and many from the area that missed for one reason or the other.

Where we come from doesn’t matter as much as where we are headed.

We all age, but we all feel like kids again when we see cousins that we played ‘rock school’ with years ago on Grandmama’s steps.

Though the world is crashing around some of us, when we are together we feel stronger.

Some of our family members have made big mistakes in their lives, but God’s forgiveness covers all, so we should forgive also.

It was so obvious to us that many loved ones have passed away and wondered in some way if they had an opportunity to look down from heaven and smile at the chance to see us all together again.

You can’t pay some people enough to smile in the family pictures!

The Fowler women (and men) KNOW HOW TO COOK! Homemade chicken and dumplings and made from scratch chocolate cakes and Mike’s fruit ambrosia were just a few of my favorites.

It’s tough to watch those that were once vibrant and full of energy begin to slow down and need help. I want them to stay young forever in my mind.

Bud Duke NEVER changes! He has ALWAYS looked the same and we ALL love him like family!

Cousins I have never met now have a place in my heart as family.

If we loved each other as much as we judge each other- well, I think you get the idea….

Each one of us will leave a legacy or a footprint for future generations- good or bad.

God’s love in unfailing and even though some have lost loved ones through divorce or death, HIS love lasts forever if we only reach out to Him.


Even LOUD whistles being blown cannot quiet down our crew when they all get together. Next time we will have a megaphone! lol!

Those that have gone before us had a much harder time without all the modern day appliances like washing machines, dishwashers, and lights. Transportation was a nightmare without cars and good roads. Communication was non-existent except for the occasional letter from far away family, and when they did get phones, it was too expensive to call long distance. All this to say….pick up that phone and call family more often, type a quick email or send a text. It means more than you think. I’m as bad as the next person about this, but I want to do better.

This past year has been a journey for me as I have learned about the Fowler family in detail from our family tree and through all of the pictures that I have gone through. I love this family very much and I know there have

 been days that I have driven my family here in Florida CRAZY with all of the details that it took to make this reunion happen. My mama, Shirley Gainey, and son and daughter, Tiffany and David have done so much to help me, and my husband Tim, bless his heart, has had to have fast food more than usual.

Several people came up to me and asked if we

were going to do this again next year, and…um…. I think I need to recover a few weeks before I can say yes or no.

Faith In The Unseen

If you’ve ever been to Pensacola Beach you understand how beautiful God’s creation is. Our white sand and deep blue-green water is breathtaking. The beach is one of my favorite places in the entire world! I DO burn the color of a lobster if I stay out in the sun for more than 5 minutes, BUT besides that I love it!
Saturday afternoon Tim and I headed that direction for a short weekend just to get away together. That afternoon we sat on our back porch and enjoyed the view. It always amazes me how calm the sea can be and yet how God’s hand can cause it to rise during storms to unbelievable levels.
The next morning I rushed to the window to see our pretty scenery only to find a thick, thick, soupy fog. Neither the water nor sand could be seen. (for you smarty pants out there saying,” She so blind that she just couldn’t see the water”, Tim couldn’t see it either! I KNEW it was there, but from my vantage point, it was nowhere to be seen. I could say in my head that it’s not there anymore because I didn’t see it, but I guarantee you that if I walked out to the dock and jumped off; I would indeed land in water. I didn’t feel it, I didn’t see it, yet, it was there.
How many times in my life or yours have you had the feeling that God is NOWHERE in view at the moment? I KNOW He is still with me even though I cannot see Him and sometimes do not feel that He is near. Sometimes I have held to His promise that He will never leave or forsake me. There have also been times that I just walked away because I didn’t have enough faith to keep trusting. At those moments He has had to knock me over the head with a club to get my attention again. Don’t sit there in shock saying,” Not Jill!” “She’s so sweet that I’m sure she never gets in trouble.” Ummm. you would be wrong.
Thank you Lord for staying with us even when we don’t have the faith to keep following You at times. Your grace is sufficient and your love is unending.

Psalm 139: 7-10
7 Where can I go from your Spirit?
Where can I flee from your presence?
8 If I go up to the heavens, you are there;
if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.
9 If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
if I settle on the far side of the sea,
10 even there your hand will guide me,
your right hand will hold me fast.